12. Babies

If there was one thing Teresa wanted more then anything in the world, it was her own child. A baby. All sweet smelling, cooing with their adorable disproportionate bodies and pudgy faces. She loved babies. She loved the way they looked, the way they giggled and the way they just made your heart melt. She loved children as well. Who couldn't, such sweet innocence and love. Oh how Teresa loved babies, it was just frustrating that she had to wait till she was married. She was not yet 17 so marriage was not the first thing on her boyfriend's mind.

She told her mom of course, just sharing her sudden desire. Mom said something about raging hormones then got a look on her face. The same look she got when she watched a horror film. Teresa wasn't quite sure why. She was however, sure that her mother didn't quite support her ambition.

Which was why she was very surprised when her mother suggested a two day sleepover at aunty Mable's house where she was to personally take care of Mable's two children. Joe who was still less then a year old, and Shareen who was five. Teresa was thrilled. She packed her bags and filled it with some toys and some games but mostly her enthusiasm and happily chatted all the way about how much fun she'd have.

"Mable and her husband are going to be there in the evening to help you, but you'll be alone most of the day," warned her mother. "you'll have to make sure Joe is clean and fed and happy and that Shareen is occupied."

"Don't worry mom! I love kids!" Teresa replied.

She was less enthusiastic when Mable showed her how to change diaper, but it wasn't really as bad as other had made it out to be. A little pee wouldn't faze her, though trying to make sure Joe was clean was harder. Mable seemed worried and repeated no less then seven times, her number, her husband, Peter's number and the number of the their pediatrician. Then she reminded Teresa about the emergency number as if Teresa was retarded. Finally she left for a day long "holiday" with her husband.

Teresa waved goodbye with a big cheery smile then closed the door, turning around to face the wide eyes of Shareen. "Where's mommy going?" asked the high pitched voice.

"Out for a small holiday with daddy," replied Teresa with a big smile.

"Why?"

"Everyone needs a holiday," Teresa replied walking into the living room where Joe was waiting.

"Why?"

"People like holidays," Teresa picked up Joe who cooed in her ear. He was heavier then she thought he would be, but she liked the way he smelled.

"Why?" Shareen was resolutely following her.

"Everyone likes holidays," said Teresa now with a hint of irritation. She braced herself and before Shareen could ask her question said, "would you like a snack?" Shareen nodded and followed her without asking why.

An hour later, Teresa was not smiling anymore. Shareen had started the questions again. Teresa tried to quell them with a game only to have to stop the game mid way as Joe was announcing his discomfort with loud wails. She tried to feed Joe again, some gloopy orange mix left by Mable but Joe was having none of it.

"Oh god, no wonder. This tastes awful," said Teresa as she tried a small spoonful. Joe continued to wail. "ok, ok, wait baby." She pulled out the baby bottle and filled it with milk, warming it just as Mable had told her. Joe accepted that with alarming swiftness and silently sucked on the bottle, making little tuck tuck sounds as well as the occasional sniffle.

Teresa went back to the game to find that Shareen had taken all the little plastic pieces that signified a win. "hey," she said patiently. "That's not right. You didn't have that many when I left."

"Yes I did, " said shareen confidently.

"No, you didn't," said Teresa patiently. "That's cheating."

"Yes, I did!"

"No,"

"Yes."

This continued on for abit until Teresa realised that shareen could happily say Yes for all eternity. She sighed. "Well how about we start again. This time, if you win, I'll give you a chocolate."

Shareen smiled widely and happily poured all the pieces back into the box while Teresa congratulated herself on her quickness. Halfway through this game however, Joe started to cry again. No amount of food offerings seemed to stop his crying and Teresa picked up him trying to comfort him. Thats when she smelled it. A pungent and incredibly unpleasent stench.

Joe quieted a little when he realised that his diaper was about to be changed. Teresa almost cried when she opened his diaper. Never, in her life had she ever imagined something could smell quite so awful. She suddenly understood why everyone hated changing diapers. She wasn't sure she could do it. It was not only disgusting, it was everywhere. Teresa imagined herself throwing everything away. the diaper, the mess, the baby. No, Mable would not be pleased. She steeled herself and completed the task, wiping away and powdering and wretching silently.

She had just finished and gone back to Shareen when she saw the all the pieces back in Shareen's lap. "hey, you cheated again."

"did not."

"did too."

"did not"

"did too."

This continued for about eight rounds until Teresa sighed and again gathered her patience. "if everyone cheated, the world would stop."

"why?"

"Because it's unfair."

"why?"

Teresa just didn't answer. "where's my chocolate? I want my chocolate," demanded Shareen with a dangerous glint in her eyes. Teresa was about to refuse until she saw the reddening of Shareen's face. She'd had enough of crying infants.

"ok."

"when is mommy coming back?"

"I don't know." Teresa felt a mild sense of panic. What if Mable never came home? oh god, the horror of having to take care of this stinky infant and his monster of a sister!

"why?"

Teresa felt something inside her drain away. "I dont know."

"why?"

"because i'm stupid."

"Why?"

"Because I am." She was, she really was. When had she ever wanted to have one of these things. Shareen didn't stop. IT was why why why why why why. Teresa began to make up answers, just to keep Shareen occupied. She played games and let Shareen cheat. When Joe cried, she gave him whatever he wanted. The entire time, her eyes were glued to the clock. Mable hadn't said exactly when she'd be home, but surely it couldn't be long.

The hands in the clock ticked as Shareen asked stupid irritating questions. It ticked as Teresa numbingly rolled dices and when Shareen became shrill, threw a chocolate piece at her. It ticked as Joe once again soiled his diaper, all that milk, and Teresa had to change it again.

Finally it became nine o clock. Shareen was still at full energy. Teresa was exhausted. She stood rocking Joe, trying to get him to sleep as Mable had directed as Shareen watched cartoons. That's when the door opened and Mable and her husband walked in. They looked so cheerful and calm, only a hint of worry.

Mable checked her children, her eyes only briefly lingered on the mess of game pieces on the floor, mixed with chocolate wrappers. It ignored the splatters of baby food on the kitchen table and floor. It made no comment on Teresa's zombie mien.

"thank you so much! you look like you could use some sleep," said Mable gently.

Teresa was numb. Utterly numb. An empty shell of a human being, devoid of anything except the desire to sleep forever. "I'd like to go home," she mumbled.

Mable nodded slowly. "ok, I'll get Peter to drive you home."

Teresa moved with slow precise movements. She did not see the scenery as it passed in the car. She didn't hear Peter thank her and then say goodbye. She barely saw her mother who welcomed her back and suggested she had a shower before bed. A missive she ignored.

The next morning, her mother asked her how it went. Teresa scowled at her. "Never mention babies to me again," she hissed. Then she broke up with her boyfriend.