Goddesses deserved the most reverent and constant of attentions and her lowly human had neglected her. One could not expect the divine to take care of themselves, that was what worshippers were for. Humans, however, were woefully poor at it despite their aposable thumbs. Princess Miaowser Fluffyngton's claws had grown uncomfortably long. She might have yowled and clawed a little whenever her human trimmed them, but that was just Godly divinity asserting her dominance. Her human could hardly have assumed that she need not do it.
Princess Miaowser Fluffyngton, or Fifi as she was commonly called did not like having exceptionally long nails. They were uncomfortable and broke easily. She needed to have them filed and shorted. Her human, willfully ignorant as she was, did not keep a scratchpost nearby. So Fifi had to resort to scratching things nearby.
First, she tried the smooth leather of the bright blue coach bag her human had left beside the bed. Then she tried the bedposts. Finally she tried to curtains. All of them helped, the curtains especially.
Fifi liked her newly shorn nails but even she had to admit that her artwork on the curtains were not exactly in line with latest modern art. Fifi of course kept up with the trends. The work on the bag was better so she touched it up a bit.
Still, she thought her human should be compensated for the tacky work on the curtains, so Fifi went in search of a gift. Humans loved gifts. So did cats of course but that was neither here nor there.
Fifi prowled around the apartment. She checked under the tables and bed. She prowled above the bookshelf. She knocked over a vase and jumped a little when it crashed, causing her to run into a neat stack of CDs which also fell down. Fifi didn feel a little sorry about that but not about the vase. It had been ugly.
She found no suitable gift until she went into the kitchen. There, just in front of the sink was prey. It was small, dark brown with long feelers and rather spiky little legs, but it was the best she could find, and as far as cockroaches went, it was quite big.
She stalked and prowled, coming carefully closer. As a descendent of a long line of Divine hunters, Fifi was confident of her hunting skills. This was her superpower. It was easy enough to catch her prey. Her newly sharpened claws made it so much easier and her fangs, oh how proud she was of her fangs. They sank right through the tough outer shell to the mushyness within.
She was carrying back to the bedroom, fully intent on laying it on her human's pillow as a lovely little gift when she tasted it. A foul, noxious, vile taste. The taste of something poisonous and distinctly chemical. Oh, lowly ignorant humans, laying about poisons to kill small critters. This poor cockroach had obviously either stepped in it, or ingested it. It had probably been close to death anyways. Now Fifi might had inadvertently swallowed some.
She only just made it to the corner when she couldn't hold it back. Up, up, up it came. All the contents of her stomach. It was so humiliating, so shameful. Oh Fifi did not feel like the suave, sleek beautifully Godly creature that she was but she had no choice.
Afterwards, she sat, curled up, her tail tickling her nose slightly feel utterly small. This would not do. She had an image to upkeep. She was unique. She was special. She was Godly. She was a cat!
This thought was uplifting. She first went through a thorough grooming. Image was important after all. Then she decided that her original thought was a good one. She would bring a gift for her human. This human after all, was good with the cuddles and most especially with the food.
There were no more cockroaches, so Fifi resorted to her secret exit. The upper window in the toilet was always kept slightly open. Outside among the jungle and maze of alleys, pipes and boxes, Fifi found a rat. It was a small rat really, but suitably plump. Rats are harder prey then cockroaches sometimes, but Fifi was a fantastic hunter.
Coming back in with her fat little rat was a little harder, but Fifi managed it so well, even she was pleased. She lay the rat on her human's pillow, even taking care to artfully arrange it in the best way possible then curled up on the windowsill.
The sight of her messy puddle, complete with the dead cockroach still in the middle upset her. She was so upset, she had to groom herself again. That cause her to feel that unsettled feeling again except this time she only brought up a furball. That actually made her feel more confidence. Fullballs and vomit sometimes went hand in hand. Her human would never know.
When her human came home, Fifi made sure she was out of sight. IT had to be a surprise. She stayed under the bed, in the darkest corner and listened to the yowls and shrieks. She especially liked the high pitched squeal she heard when the rat was discovered. It filled her heart with joy.
She stayed under as her human did her routine of yowling over the curtains and other surprises. Her supper that evening was only tinned food, none of the anchovies that Fifi liked so much, but her human must have been tired out by all the excitement to forget. She only had to miaow quietly, turning round eyes up at her and her human melted.
Two anchovies appeared in her dish. Fifi smiled. Yes, the human had accepted that it had been her own fault. IT always was of course. Fifi was exonerated and her status as Goddess of the home restored.
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